Waiter, there's some foil in my beer.

If there's one thing that Indian men like, it's their drinks to be perfectly served. If somebody asks for a large whisky with two ice cubes and lukewarm water, that's exactly what he expects to be given. Try presenting him with water that's either too cold, or too warm and the drink will be unceremoniously returned. As for adding an extra ice cube, don't even think about it.

Last night, a friend of mine waited while the barman poured his bottle of Kingfisher into his glass. (Again, if your glass is empty, you don't pour the bottle into the glass yourself, you wait for the barman to do it for you. Me, I prefer DIY). In so doing, a tiny piece of foil from the bottle rim went into the glass with the beer. My friend pointed this out to the barman who then went off to fetch a long-handled spoon and fished the offending piece of foil out. Would you credit it, when his glass was re-filled shortly afterwards, exactly the same thing happened.

Once is forgivable, twice is careless. The barman was "blasted", told to be more careful and then, much to my amusement, instructed to pick all the remaining foil from around the bottle rim so that it wouldn't be third time unlucky. My friend then took a few more sips and went outside to take a call.

"So what do you think happened next?" I asked Shilpi when I was sitting down with her later that evening.
"You dropped some foil into his beer, didn't you?" she said.

My wife knows me well. Having done just that, I stood at the bar sniggering to myself as I watched the foil (which was a good deal larger than the two previous pieces put together) floating in the centre of his beer.

Unfortunately, my pal was some time on the phone and by the time he came back, the barman had either noticed the foil and whisked it out sharpish, or it had just floated off to the side of the glass and stuck there. In any event, I'm sorry to report, there was no dramatic climax.

Originally published on Blogger on 13th November 2008.