Tied up in knots

Sexual discrimination, equal opportunities, the minimum wage; sometimes you wonder how UK companies ever manage to find suitable employees. And even if they do, there's no guarantee that at some later stage, those same ungrateful individuals won't take them to an industrial tribunal over some trumped-up claim. Little wonder then, that job descriptions and person specifications in the UK are careful to clarify the company's position and its expectations.

I saw a UK job description recently and I thought it would be quite fun to re-print some of the criteria verbatim and then give my interpretation of the Indian equivalent underneath. In the world's largest democracy, (a democracy which, incidentally, has banned music and dancing in Bangalore) life can be disarmingly simple at times.

1.
UK actual: "This post has the following special circumstances: travel across England... anti-social hours... attendance at external forums... (Please note: if you have difficulty meeting these conditions because of a disability or family circumstances the appointing manager will discuss it with you in order to consider reasonable adjustments to the job or working conditions)."

India version: "This post has the following special circumstances: travel across England... anti-social hours... attendance at external forums... (Please note: if you have difficulty meeting these conditions because of a disability or family circumstances, do not apply)."

2.
UK actual: "In order to be successful in this role you will be able to... provide visionary and inspirational leadership... plan strategically... network extensively... speak influentially... challenge perceptions..."

India version: "In order to be successful in this role you will be female, tall, wheatish complexion, aged 24-30."

Originally published on Blogger on 11th August 2008. Image courtesy of a Google search on "tall wheatish" which came up with Ranee Mukherjee who is pretty but neither tall nor wheatish. Anyway, it give me a good excuse to publish this photo of her in her heyday.