Funskool

Those scallywags at Funskool have been at it again. With hindsight, the plastic duck should have served as a warning. I think we had something similar when we were little: one of those little pull-along ducks that waddles and makes a funny quacking sound. Only the Funskool duck never managed a quack and all that Niharika could do was drag the thing along. The wheels didn't go round because the rubbber tyres were too tight, and if you took the rubber off, the wheels slipped: no movement and no quacks. It didn't really bother my daughter but even so, I'm of the old school that believes that if you pay for something, it should be of merchantable quality; and the Funskool duck was not.

Last week it was Niharika's birthday and so I bought her some Noddy jigsaws. I didn't look at the box and it was only when we were starting to put the pieces together that I realised I'd bought something from Funcrap again.

For a start, the jigsaw pieces don't lock together properly. They do all marry up but they don't really lock together. The result is that you can pull the puzzle apart in no time - and indeed, you can inadvertently pull it apart whilst you're trying to fit the pieces together. Worse still though, one of the jigsaws had four pieces missing. I know, I know; in the face of bomb blasts and derrorist threats, such little trivialities are really just that - trivial. But you know, Funskool generally strikes me as the kind of company which, it ever went into book publishing, would probably miss out the last page of a whodunnit or print pages upside down. Shoddy is the word. In any event I've just dropped Funskool a line:

Dear Funskool

Would you mind asking your workers in the jigsaw division to look under their benches please. I bought a four-in-one Noddy jigsaw in Bangalore last week and there were four pieces missing. I thought "four-in-one" meant four jigsaws in one box but I see now that it could mean that four pieces are missing from one puzzle. If that's the case, I really think that should have been explained a little more clearly. I'm assuming though, that this is a genuine error and that the pieces are still somewhere in your workshop. If it helps, the missing pieces show a little bit of Bumpy Dog's ear, Noddy's left foot, some of Dinah Doll's stall and a part of Mr Plod's leg. I'd normally suggest that you fit them together to ensure that you have found the right pieces, but you'll have difficulty doing that with Funskool jigsaws because they slip and slide all over the place.

Incidentally, while I'm writing to you, do you think you might get quality control checks in your plastic duck department? My daughter's pull-along duck (you call it a Wiggler duck, we call it a drag-along duck), has never quacked and its wheels don't go round. I think you probably need to use a little less rubber on the tyres.

Yours sincerely

etc

PS. Have you ever considered going into book publishing? Agatha Christie novels are rightly considered masterpieces of their genre and yet her name is little known in India. Perhaps there's another market there for you.


Originally published on Blogger on 31st July 2008 and I'm pleased to say that although I'm still waiting for a reply to my e-mail, I've never bought another Funskool product since.