Goodbye old fridge of mine

My old red fridge is on its way out. I bought it shortly after I arrived in India and whilst I was on my own, all it had to handle was milk, a few jars of pickles and the odd can of beer. Now, with six people in the house, it just can't cope.

The door to the ice box went long ago and so what was once a "frost-free" fridge, has been an arctic landscape for many months. In fact, it's a moot point whether there is more ice inside my freezer box than there is on the polar ice cap. Given the current state of global warning, I think my fridge just edges it.

On Monday, we dropped by to Pye Electronics in Indiranagar. I bought Old Red there and I think the microwave and washing machine also came from Pye. It's a good local electronics dealership - the Bangalore equivalent of a Curry's or Dixons - and it's always been my first choice. Being a holiday (Ugadi), the place was heaving, but we pretty soon settled on a larger Whirlpool fridge and placed an order. This is what the blurb for our new 45 deluxe says:

The new Whirlpool Professional range is a modern technological marvel with 6th Sense Technology Whiz that chills bottles quicker than others and is the fastest in making ice! Not just that, it is also an intelligent space manager, a master of innovation, a health & freshness specialist, a style icon that has a stately wide body design set off in premium finishes and designer handle with intricate floral designs – An Expert in the true sense.

Hmmm. I'm not sure that intricate floral designs on a fridge door handle would necessarily make me think that my fridge was an Expert, let alone an "expert in the true sense" (whatever that needless waffle means), but I'm sure looking forward to the 6th Sense Technology Whiz (with one zed) and only hope that that 6th Sense extends to evicting cockroaches. Old Red has been home to the blighters for a long while now and I can tell you, there's no greater unappetising sight than to open your fridge door and find a cockroach staring at you, even if its teeth are chattering.

It being Ugadi, we were promised a free gift with our purchase. I was given a heavy, gaudy watch similar to the ones that the wide boys sell on Brigade Road, and we were also told that a dessert set was ours for the taking. I followed the assistant down into the basement but the dessert sets had all been gobbled up and so I was given a bag instead. Not much use for my jelly and ice cream but I suppose I can take it with me next time I travel to England.

As an afterthought, I asked the salesman if he could arrange for my fridge to be taken away when the new one was delivered. He thought for a minute and then, after I'd showed him how big Old Red was, he said, "OK, between a thousand and fifteen hundred rupees." I still had my UK head on. "That's what you'll charge me to remove it?" I asked. "No," he said, "that's what we'll give you for it."

In the event, Shilpi has managed to sell it to our neighbours for two thousand rupees and they seem more than happy with it, even though there are cockroaches (all of them with shocking colds), no freezer door, a broken cooler box frame...

Delivery was promised yesterday but it didn't turn up and is now promised again for some time today before 9.30 at night. When Old Red was delivered, a wiry Indian carried it up four flights of stairs on his back. New 45 is about twice the size and probably twice the weight, plus we live on the ground floor these days. I'm not worried about how they'll manage to get the thing into the house because that should be easy enough. I am though pondering what to do with our inherited goldfish whose tank currently sits on top of Old Red. New 45 is just too darn tall and so a new fridge means a new home for the fish. Maybe I'll throw them in with Old Red and the neighbours can knock up a tasty curry. Now where did I put that goldfish masala?


Originally published on Blogger on 9th April 2008.